LIGHTHOUSE

Today marks a new chapter, A dawn of hope, a dream fulfilled. The wait is over; the search has ceased, Happiness and peace, now released. Birds sing sweet melodies above, A symphony of joy, a labor of love. The sunset's warmth on skin so fair, A gentle reminder of life's care. In this moment, all feels right, A sense of calm, a peaceful night. The world's vibrant colors shine bright, A reflection of your inner light. May this blissful feeling stay, Guiding you through life's ebb and flow. May your heart remain full and free, Basking in happiness and serenity." Keep embracing this beautiful feeling! Life's journey is often marked by unexpected twists and turns, testing our resolve and resilience. Delays, denials, disappointments, rejections, and failures can shake our confidence, making our desires and expectations seem elusive. In these moments, self-doubt creeps in, and we blame our imperfections for life's setbacks. Looking into challenges that could make you want to give up on Life or you feel like nothing is working; For instance, someone who has been trying all possible means to japa (travel abroad) but keeps being rejected, a woman who is looking up to God for a child but now she doubts her chances to conceive, someone who has been looking for a job despite several interviews but still awaits a call for an employment, someone who has been searching and waiting for a life partner but no suitor in sight yet ...we can keep listing as they never end. The way we deal with such situations is what drives our wild imaginations, allows negativity to creep into our lives and we believe there is no hope for happy endings. Despite seeking comfort in our daily routines, past successes, and loving relationships, life's unpredictability can leave us feeling overwhelmed. Yet, it's precisely how we respond to these challenges that defines us. What are the Common Emotional Responses we give/have? 1. Frustration and anger 2. Disappointment and sadness 3. Self-doubt and low self-esteem 4. Fear and anxiety 5. Helplessness and hopelessness Remember, life's rollercoaster is inevitable, but our mindset and response can transform struggles into stepping stones for personal growth, wisdom, and strength. Additional thoughts: • Life's challenges are not reflections of our worth. • Imperfections are essential to the human experience. • Resilience is built through navigating adversity. • Self-compassion is key to healing and growth. • Every setback prepares us for future successes. Maintaining happiness and peace amidst life's challenges requires intentional habits, mindset shifts, and self-care practices. Here are some strategies: Resilience Builders • Gratitude practice: Focus on the good. Cultivate gratitude for life's blessings. • Positive self-talk: Encourage yourself. • Mindfulness: Stay present. • Self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness. • Emotional regulation: Manage stress. Acknowledge your emotions, rather than suppressing them. Coping Mechanisms • Deep breathing exercises. • Physical activity: Release endorphins. • Journaling: Process emotions. • Connect with nature: Find calm. • Creative expression: Art, music, writing. Support Systems • Nurture meaningful relationships. • Seek professional help (therapy). • Join a supportive community. • Practice forgiveness: Let go of grudges. • Prioritize sleep and rest. Mindset Shifts • Reframe setbacks as opportunities for growth. • Practice acceptance: Embrace uncertainty. • Focus on the present: Let go of past/future worries. • Cultivate optimism: Expect positive outcomes. • Develop problem-solving skills. Self-Care • Prioritize activities bringing joy. • Set boundaries: Protect time/energy. • Engage in relaxation techniques (meditation, yoga). • Take breaks: Rest and recharge. • Practice self-forgiveness. Faith-Based Encouragement: 1. God's timing is perfect, even when ours isn't. 2. Prayer and faith can shift circumstances. 3. Every "no" or delay brings us closer to the right "yes." 4. Our worth isn't defined by achievements or outcomes. 5. God's plans are bigger than our current struggles. Inspiring Stories from the Bible: 1. Hannah's prayer for a child (1 Samuel 1-2) 2. Joseph's journey from slavery to leadership (Genesis 37-47) 3. Ruth's perseverance in relationships (Ruth 1-4) 4. David's trust in God during adversity (Psalm 23, 27) Inspiring Quotes "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." - Charles R. Swindoll "Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions." - Dalai Lama "You are stronger than you seem, braver than you believe, and smarter than you think." - Christopher Robin "Fall seven times, stand up eight." - Japanese proverb "The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Nelson Mandela Keep shining, and remember that life's ups and downs are an integral part of its beauty and transformative power! Happiness and Peace are journeys, not destinations!

# # # # Guy: Hey Beautiful! Girl: Hello Guy: Can I get to know you? Girl: oh ok....(thinking out loud)...eh God o, should I respond?...*smirks* They start talking and hanging out*** Guy: Hey Mo Girl: Baba o...twale...I dey hail oo ...*teases* Guy: I like you...You captivate me and I'd like us to take this friendship to another level. Girl: That'll be nice. I like you too. Make we see as e go be nah...*blushes* They start dating...meeting their friends and family*** Guy: Hey Sweetie Girl: Baby Love, What's up? Guy: My friends like you...thank you for your love and care... continue to be yourself and always tell me about your thoughts and feelings. Girl: I am a spec after all...lol...*teases* Guy: Please don't ever hurt my feelings ...*jokes* Girl: Yinmu...wetin dey do this one...I should be the one to say that Months after ....Mixed feelings emerge... Girl: Babe, I seem to be the last person on your mind these days....what's on your mind lately? Guy: I'm good, I'm just not feeling myself. I forget to check on you and get carried away with my daily activities. Girl: Really...*surprised* Guy: I think we should just be friends now. I feel choked up being in a relationship. It's not about you but me...You are a great person don't doubt it. Girl: Then, what is the problem? Guy: I can't explain it...My head is just not having this right now and I am not feeling any emotions for you. Girl: Feels disappointed, her love bruised and feelings hurt... All right, let me know when you feel better. *Good Bye* # # # # A rundown of this tactic mostly displayed by men is tagged as being "Emotionally Unavailable" and this often happens after a while of attraction and closeness to a partner. Suddenly, he starts to feel threatened in his freedom, space and emotions. Recognizing emotional unavailability can be tricky. Many emotionally unavailable people have a knack for making you feel great about yourself and hopeful about the future of your relationship. When they feel exhausted with their emotions, they shut down the ride. Most people will be emotionally unavailable at some point in their lives. We tend to pull back from engaging emotionally when we feel overwhelmed or have a lot of personal things that require our energy. Here are some common factors that can contribute to a man being emotionally unavailable: 1. Past trauma: Unresolved childhood wounds, abuse, or neglect can lead to emotional numbing. 2. Fear of vulnerability: Fear of being hurt or rejected can cause men to build walls around their emotions. 3. Societal expectations: Traditional masculine norms can discourage emotional expression and vulnerability. 4. Fear of intimacy: Fear of closeness or commitment can lead to emotional unavailability. 5. Attachment issues: Insecure attachment styles (e.g., avoidant or anxious) can make emotional connection challenging. 6. Emotional immaturity: Lack of emotional intelligence, self-awareness, or regulation skills can hinder emotional availability. 7. Defences and coping mechanisms: Substance abuse, workaholism, or other coping mechanisms can serve as distractions from emotional pain. 8. Past relationship experiences: Traumatic or painful past relationships can lead to emotional guardedness. 9. Mental health conditions: Depression, anxiety, or personality disorders can impact emotional availability. 10. Learned behaviour: Growing up with emotionally unavailable role models can teach men to suppress emotions. 11. Shame and guilt: Unresolved shame or guilt can lead to emotional numbing or unavailability. 12. Lack of emotional support: The absence of supportive relationships or role models can hinder emotional development. 13. Cultural or family dynamics: Cultural or family norms that discourage emotional expression can contribute to emotional unavailability. 14. Personal beliefs and values: Beliefs that emotions are a sign of weakness or that vulnerability is dangerous can lead to emotional unavailability. You might not want to settle for someone who isn’t exactly right. But this mindset can limit your ability to dedicate time and energy to someone who truly cares for you. It’s not always possible to find a “perfect” match, but you can still have a great relationship with someone who falls a little short of complete perfection. Being emotionally unavailable is not a cast in stone. It’s a complex issue, although, some underlying causes may be harder to overcome than others. However, it is a personal decision that needs to be made to have that great and positive change in your life. First and Foremost, be ready to break down that wall against your emotions - Be Vulnerable. Change only happens when someone is willing to work at creating it. No matter what type of relationship we’re talking about—be it friendship, familial, or romantic, vulnerability is key to fostering a closer, deeper, and more authentic bond with another person. It keeps us honest with each other and ourselves, breaks down walls, eliminates the potential for miscommunication and misunderstandings, and allows us to be worthy of our feelings. Gradually open up and share your feelings with your partner. Personal traits that can help you overcome being emotionally unavailable: • Be Aware and Mindful: Recognize your emotions, patterns and triggers. Focus on the present and let go of past hurts or traumas. • Trust God Always: No matter the fears and traumas you may have gone through or have at the moment, Prayer heals faster than you can imagine. Prayer is a powerful tool for emotional healing and growth. Devote your life to God regardless of the situation or circumstances around you. Don't be consumed by the impact caused by negative results or bad experiences. Be patient with your time to heal and grow. • Be Resilient: If you fail at something now, you will win some other time. Learn to recover quickly from difficult situations that may have hurt your emotions. This makes it easy to allow something new without predicting the end from the beginning. • Love Regardless: Don't be receptive to Love expressed towards you and as expected of you to retaliate. Our good emotions are curled from loving someone or something back regardless of how we interpret the other person's feelings or actions. A Loving Heart heals faster from hurts and rejection. • Show Empathy: Practice understanding and compassion towards yourself and others. Everyone is going through something in their lives and may just need that show of affection from you to heal or get better. Your love towards others requires you to be kind and considerate and should be unwavering any day, anytime. • Grow Out of your Fears: You could list the common fears that trigger your emotions such as losing your freedom, being trapped, being responsible for others, being betrayed, being judged, trusting others, uncertainty, rejection, intimacy, and inability to Love someone back. Be gentle with yourself and don't hesitate to seek help when needed. Grow Up! • Setting your Priorities Right: Most of the time, your inability to manage your activities and time effectively, clouds your emotions. You tend not to get things in the right order or perspective due to stress and anxiety. Setting priorities is essential for emotional clarity and well-being. You will have deeper and more meaningful connections when you put relationships and activities that bring joy as a top priority. • Seek True Companionship: A true companion can help you to be emotionally available in so many ways; thereby giving you their Emotional Support, Listening Hears, Understanding Heart, Unwavering Love, Open Mind, Unconditional Acceptance, Emotional Intimacy, and Sense of Belonging. Since your partner is offering this much, you should show yourself to be ready for a change by self-reflection, and be trustworthy, consistent and secure. • Stay Humble: By staying humble, you'll be more open, receptive, and willing to learn, grow and connect with others on a deeper emotional level. "If you are not a Safe Haven, you cannot seek shelter yourself."

Beep...beep...beep...beep...beep! I can hear that sound, but it is coming from afar... I keep wandering in this unknown and quiet place that looks like a white background tunnel with no end... I can still hear the beeping sound of my heartbeat coming from an electrocardiogram machine... What is happening to me? Why can't I move my body? Where am I? Who are those people crying? Oh No! Am I dying? Somebody wake me up...I need to wake up... HELP ME! HELP ME!! HELP ME!!! Amid the chaos, we can never hear that cry of a lost soul crying for help. At that moment, we are there trying to revive the body of that child, a mother, a father, a friend, or an unknown person whom the doctor has confirmed dead to us. It feels just like a bad dream happening right in front of us. None of us can accept the bad news and hope the doctor just comes back to say, "That was a mistake; she is doing just fine". Maybe a Miracle happens! A lost soul is someone who simply cannot function in society for several reasons. A person who sees no sense in things. The reasons for one being this way can vary from the loss of a loved one, the loss of a sense of purpose, losing the job that you love, or simply because you have grown into such a person that you feel you can't quite fit in anymore. Life is full of so many lost souls who are hoping to be heard either dead or alive. We go about our own lives and business every single day we wake up, doing the usual routine, going to work, going to the gym, taking the kids to school, attending meetings, having lunch with friends, going on dates, and the list goes on. Do we ever take a moment to find out what is going on around us or in the lives of the people we relate with every day? An innocent child being bullied in school would like to tell someone so he can be saved from those ill-mannered children... A man going through a tough time at work is hoping that won't be his last day or he won't give up on that dream job... A woman with kids who thinks she is fat just because her husband and friends say so... A lady who wishes that relationship or marriage would never end after several trials and wasted years. Yet, that man is seeing her to be unworthy... Looking at our own lives to be perfect is just a lie we tell ourselves in the mirror if we don't have a hint of kindness reflected in us. No matter how made or settled you are, your lack of compassion and empathy disqualifies you from being perfect. At any opportunity we get, we see other people not doing well around us or asking for help, to be so unfortunate, just because we believe that circumstance or situation should have been avoided if they had done this or that. It is worse when they try asking for your help and you grudgingly respond or decline. We avoid them like a plague so we don't get infected by their disease or problems. Meanwhile, that little time you spend hearing their problem counts. That love you can give shows you care. That short phone call you make to find a solution is lifesaving. That connection or contact you share could be the breakthrough they need. That confrontation or prayer you make for them could shut the mouths of the wicked ones. That advice you give could make a life change and better. That help you render could put a smile on someone's face. These are more rewarding than the part you play when the situation has gone bad and irredeemable. Without empathy and compassion, our pursuit of perfection is nothing more than a facade. It's a reminder that true beauty and perfection come from within and that our character and heart are what truly define us. And when the worst happens... We hear the loud cries of the child, the shouts from a parent, the yelling from a colleague, the abuse from a husband or wife, the fights from a household, the breakup from a partner and the screams of losing someone. Those listening ears would become active when it is too late and nothing can be done to reverse the situation... Could this have been avoided? *THAT FAR CRY.*